"Hi, I’m your consultation
coordinator giving you the answers! I’ll
give you the lo-down. I’ll give you the
scoop on how to choose a plastic surgeon; what to ask and how to ask it. The
information here will be beneficial in helping you determine if surgery
is right for you and then how to look and where to look for the right plastic
surgeon. So what really goes on behind
the scenes in a typical plastic surgeon’s office? Read on to learn what you can do to help make
the decision on which surgeon is right for you and the correct mindset and
approach that one must have that is most conducive to having a great
experience; what is realistic to expect and what is totally unrealistic. But first, it will be very helpful to learn
where the current mindset of the general patient is who wants plastic surgery
and ask yourself…Is this me?
It’s scary out there and if you
have been looking for awhile, you may be on the verge of just giving up or,
even worse, just picking the surgeon that is the cheapest and the closest
location to you. Let’s face it, money,
or lack thereof, is a real driving force in our lives and we are constantly
comparing all the services we buy. We pick and we choose and think of ways to possibly
drive the cost down on services that we need and especially in these economic
times we are constantly looking for more bang for our buck, which one of us wouldn’t? It’s a human condition. So we do a little manipulation to get even one
more dollar off the price of the cost estimate we’ve just been given so we can
spend it elsewhere. We want to haggle
and cajole and then we tell our friends what a great deal we just got. Admit it, it makes us feel good to think we
have saved some money for ourselves and a lot of times we are very much in
competition with our friends and acquaintances (…and secretly, our enemies,
too!) and that’s ok!
But this is where we make the
mistake when choosing a plastic surgeon for elective or even reconstructive
surgery. It’s a big one, and a very dangerous
one. Looking at ‘having a procedure
done’ ( I call it ‘SURGERY’) as if it were like buying a car or getting our
nails done is very, very dangerous. Just
using the words, ‘having a procedure done’ makes it benign…like, ‘Having your
hair done.’ The concept of plastic surgery has now become equated on the same
par as having a facial at the day spa around the corner or going to get our
legs waxed or our ‘hair done.’ Don’t
fall into this trap! These are all services we are familiar with and because
humans are social in their nature, we tend to want what the other guy has. We gather together and we compare. It’s
primal. We use the experiences of others
to help us decide. Technology that is
available to us moves at an amazing speed; we text, we twitter, we constantly have
a phone in our ear and we make ourselves available 24/7 to our jobs, our family
and our friends.
The range of patient demographic
for a Plastic & Reconstructive surgeon has expanded enormously. It
encompasses the widest range it has ever been, mainly because of the baby-boomer
generation. We’ve all heard the saying,
“Fifty is the new Thirty.” There’s a
reason for that. Baby boomers who,
during the sixties, used to say, “Don’t ever thrust anyone over thirty!”, have
now turned fifty! My, my! This generation have introduced the country
and society as a whole to naturopathy, ergonomics, whole body wellness,
mind-over-matter, massage therapy, you’re only as old as you feel, real body
age, yoga, yogurt, whole foods,
hypnotherapy, mysticism, body-building, jogging; power walking; I could
go on and on, but you get my drift.
The baby-boomer generation has
singlehandedly taken the stigma out of having Plastic Surgery. The “Giggly, post-pubescent, young person,
who is uneducated about their own body but who has just seen what they want on their friend and they
want it too; who have some graduation money set aside or may have parents that
still have deep pockets because they are getting good grades, and so breast
augmentation plastic surgery is within their reach” to the “Scared 35-45 year
old, who has just looked at themselves in the mirror and have seen for the very
first time, a floppy neck, crinkled skin or bags under their eyes. They just raised their arm up to brush or
comb their hair and realized in horror that their upper arm was flapping with
each motion they made. They may have no
money problems because they are a two income family or they may have a good
job, but they haven’t been able to save like they wanted and are now looking at
an aging and unfamiliar face looking back at them in the mirror and start to
ask their friends, do they see it too?
If that’s what my face looks like, what must my body look like to other
people? They might need financing; they have a good work ethic and are
knowledgeable about paying-off a debt and are anxious to just get it done now
so they can reap the benefits of looking and feeling younger, before they get
old” to the “Retired or almost retired; yes, I’m old but I’m not gone from this
world yet; I still have sex, I want to have fun, pre-geriatric baby-boomer who
is just as much at home parasailing and riding a motor cycle as they are taking
care of their grandchildren” all have contemplated consulting with a plastic or
cosmetic surgeon, having surgery or have actually had this surgery in their
lifetime.
Yes, it’s expanded, but you see,
it’s not so much that the patient demographic has expanded that makes it a "iffy"
situation but it is how we view and think about cosmetic or plastic surgery that
makes it dangerous. Let me enlighten
you. The fact that cosmetic and plastic surgery is now so commonplace is both
good and bad. It’s a double-edged
sword. The availability of plastic
surgery is a good thing; but thinking about plastic surgery in a superficial way
is very dangerous. Unfortunately, most
of the time, when something is readily available to the masses it becomes somewhat
humdrum and, believe me when I tell you, there is no such thing as humdrum
surgery! EVER!
We jump on the internet and get
‘instant results.’ We want what we want
when we want it and the concept of ‘waiting’ has become foreign to us. We get used to obtaining results so quickly
that if the results are not what we want or expect, it’s oh so easy to ‘just do it over and over’ until in our own mind
it gets done right. Our expectations get skewed and somewhere during this personal
revelation we start equating “surgery” with “easy” and “commonplace.” Reality TV and extreme makeover shows have
pushed this lie in our face over and over so many times it’s not a wonder we
think the way we do. I am so over anyone who has this mindset; really, you must
come to terms with it and change it. It
raises a big red flag for me and I immediately let the doctor know that this is
not a patient they would want to do surgery on.
There is a new phobia out there that stems from this way of thinking
called Body Dysmorphic Disorder. I have seen it time and time again. “I must be perfect. I must look this particular way.” “One nostril is a little bit bigger than the
other, and it bothers me when I look in the mirror. I can’t put my mind on anything else!”
A woman just told me over the
phone the other day that she is African American but she is consumed about
having a “Caucasian nose.” She explained that she has already had 4 surgeries
with another plastic surgeon and he cannot give her the nose she envisions. She
is only 21 years old! She said, “I can’t stop thinking about it and I knew the
minute my doctor took the splint off for the fourth time that there was no
change in my nostrils like I wanted.” “It
consumes me.”
In my years as a patient care
& surgical coordinator, I have heard it all. They want it to be tighter, smaller, bigger,
flatter, rounder, higher. One breast is
lower than the other. One breast is
bigger than the other. My knees are fat.
My smile is crooked. One side of my face
is droopier than the other, can he fix it? I have this one line in my face that
I just cannot stop thinking about. Every
time I smile; here, do you see it? I want
this, in this size, in this shape; I want this area lifted and tightened; if
this is just pulled up like this; see….this is exactly how I want it to look? I want, I need, I must have…It…Now… I have even had someone ask if the surgeon
could lengthen one of their fingers!
When we think this way, we
dehumanize ourselves, we de-medicalize the procedure (if that’s really a word…but
you get what I mean), and we de-emphasize the importance of listening,
understanding and the art of waiting. This is a generation that cannot
wait. We cannot accept the
idiosyncrasies of our own bodies. We are
all individual and unique. But, the fact
that we will NEVER achieve perfection in ANYTHING and especially if it has to
do with our bodies is not a concept we can wrap our minds around and it is
dangerous, dangerous thinking! We become self-absorbed and as we listen to the
physician, we are not really hearing them; but wondering, as they talk, how
much it’s going to cost us and if the surgeon actually understands what it is
that bother’s us and, of course, what we are going to say next.
Sometimes we might feel intimidated
by the whole process, and then we become forgetful of what we really wanted to
ask or we may not even know what to ask or even how to start. Unrealistic expectations; perfection and
assumptions are the single most reasons for malpractice cases brought against a
surgeon. I’ll expand on this subject
later.
If a surgeon coddles this type of
thinking and does not set you straight; if they tell you they can do anything
you want; if they don’t ask you any questions about your history; if they are
yes-people who talk in generalities; if they say they can only do a certain
procedure only one way because that’s the only way it can be done; if they are
enamored of themselves; if they don’t touch you or measure you (remember they
are doctor’s and they examine people); if they advertize the price of a
procedure with exact numbers; if they say you shouldn’t go to another surgeon
because they have legal problems; if they guarantee results; BE WARY!! This is
NOT the surgeon you want.
They should not:
·
be your buddy
·
be your best friend
·
party with you
·
help you with your personal life
·
care about anything other than doing an
excellent job for you
·
treat you differently than they do any other
patient
and if they “do” or “are” some of these things
mentioned above - something is wrong!
You should not expect them to:
- remember your name or anything about you without your chart in hand
- be your buddy
- think you are separate from the rest and special in
their eyes
- meet with you socially
- give the same deal to your friends that they gave to
you
- give the same deal to you that they gave to your
friends
- help you come up with the money
- make an exception on any medical protocol or policy
just for you
- be your best friend
- have feelings for you
Just remember, there are as many
different types of plastic and cosmetic surgeons out there as there are
different types of people who want surgery. We are all human! Remember that!
Coming to the subject of a
surgeon’s history and has he had any suits brought against him…As I said
previously, unrealistic expectations; perfection and assumptions are the single
most reasons for malpractice cases brought against a surgeon. It stems from the
patient alone and has absolutely nothing to do with the surgeon or the work he
has done. It is a shameful thing to do.
Shameful. Disgraceful. - to
try and ruin someone’s life only because in our own heads we envisioned &
expected something that could never ever be achieved by anyone. It is also disgraceful to think that suing a
doctor will do nothing to them and that their malpractice insurance will just
pay for it and they will go on with their lives. This is so untrue. I’ve seen a wonderful
surgeon’s life and practice in shambles because, although he won in court, just
the fact that he had someone bring suit against him affected his practice for
many years afterward. He endured taunts
and jeers; having to explain himself over and over to each patient who saw him
and unreasonable internet evaluations over which he had no control. His
business never recovered, his reputation was destroyed, his family couldn’t
take the length of the trial (it went on for four years because of appeals) and
they left him; he became spiritually & financially destitute; he fell into
a deep depression and eventually took his own life; all because ONE patient had
unrealistic expectations. They were
selfish, self-absorbed, unrealistic and mean-spirited. The results he achieved
were superb, but the patient just couldn’t see it! And…when that patient heard
about what had happened to him; they actually said he ‘deserved it.’
It was really terrible to listen
to. Now, I know you’re saying to
yourself, ”Well, I’m not that kind of person.” “I would never do
something like that to anyone.” But, you’re wrong. I believe anyone is capable
of doing anything, given the right circumstances. Here’s an example about
YOU. Yes, YOU. That shows YOU are capable of doing something
like this, therefore you have the capability to ruin someone’s life.
Have you ever had your hair cut
or colored by anyone else? Yes? I’m sure
you’ve experienced a bad cut or a color-job that didn’t turn out so wonderful.
Maybe your hair got ‘fried’ or you ended up having to cut your hair real short
or maybe even wear a wig. Maybe it wasn’t
really bad but YOU felt uncomfortable for a really, really long time because
you knew it would take time to grow out and it just wasn’t fair that you
trusted someone to do what you expected and even tried to communicate to them,
(you may even have brought in some pictures) and the result turned out to be
entirely different than you expected and you didn’t like the way it looked or felt,
or the way you thought others would see it.
This is really personal, because
you can’t hide; you look at your hair every day in the mirror. It is not what
you expected at all. You don’t want to
go out in public but you have to; you have social engagements; family is coming
over, etc. You’re sure your hair will
never ever be the same -or- god forbid your wedding is tomorrow. OMG Look what they did?! You trusted them! - and they did THIS! Tears
well up. Why YOU? And as you try to fiddle with it you start to get mad and
frustrated. How dare they! Why didn’t they understand what you wanted?! They are just inept and shouldn’t be in this
business. You may not be able to fix it and it will just have to grow out but,
by-golly, you shouldn’t have to PAY for this MESS. You want your money back. They should give it
back to you. It really doesn’t matter to you that your hair may have turned green
from a chemical reaction to a supplement you had taken to help you lose
weight. That, and in combination with an
antibiotic and a change in hair conditioner which did a number on the chemical
structure of your hair. Take a deep breath!
People! This is just your hair. Your hair will grow out, right?
Now, substitute your body or your
face instead of your hair. So how would
you feel if something didn’t turn out like you expected after surgery? Taking
the money that you paid out of the equation,
(I’ll get to that in a minute.) How would you react? How would you feel? “This is really personal!” You would be very, very upset - and very,
very scared. You might have your family
or friends egging you with sarcasm; after all they might not have wanted you to
have surgery in the first place.
Just think if you started
scarring uncontrollably after surgery with big thick ugly-looking scars.
(Called ‘Keloid’) This can happen at any
time - with anybody - it may be the by-product of something you’ve ingested
five months ago or for no reason at all!
You’ll never ever know. The
doctor cannot control how you heal. Nor
is there any test that would predict how you would heal. You may heal great on
one surgery and not great on the next. You didn’t get the results that you
wanted, or the results didn’t last as long as you wanted, So - how would you
feel? Certainly a heck of a lot worse than when your hair was “really messed
up”
THIS is your actual body! THIS is your actual face! Wouldn’t you
immediately think, “This has never happened before so it has to be someone’s
fault - and it was the surgeon who did the surgery so it must be their fault? What else could it be?? It couldn’t possibly
be anything you did, right? and that
might be true - or it might not - but there’s really no way for anyone to know.
Truly. So you surmise, ‘Well, the doctor
cut me and those cuts healed terribly. I
might look like this forever - so what option do I have but to get money from
the doctor’s malpractice insurance - that’s what it’s for, right?” - and there
we go! All from unrealistic expectations
and NOT listening or following direction or not being able to accept the fact that you or the doctor may never
ever know why.
I can tell you right now, if you
didn’t heal properly, the right doctor, the good doctor, the experienced
doctor, the correct doctor, would decide what might help you heal correctly and
continue with your treatment until there was nothing more that could be
done. End of story. Surgery is not an
exact science; that’s why you need a board certified plastic surgeon who has
done thousands of procedures and knows what to do in ANY situation or with ANY outcome.........."
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